This entry was posted on May 06 2011 by Savannah Webber

Hollywood Headaches: ‘Anchorman 2′ on hold

Sweet Lincoln’s mullet.

If Paramount were a man, I’d punch it. Punch it right in the mouth.

Hearsay told me that Paramount is passing on “Anchorman 2.”

Great Odin’s raven, exclamation point.

Writer/director Adam McKay tweeted last week:

“So bummed. Paramount basically passed on Anchorman 2. Even after we cut our budget down. We tried.”

In all of my twentysomething (cough) years, there have been a handful of flicks that replay, via my eloquent prose, on a daily basis:

“Breakfast Club,” “Tommy Boy,” “Old School,” “Dumb and Dumber,” “Hot Rod”* and “Anchorman” (among a dozen other pointless comedies).

“On the one hand, [we were] being begged to do a sequel for such a long time, and then we finally came up with a concept that we liked, we talked to [Paramount] and everyone was up for it,” Will Ferrell told Entertainment Weekly. “And then to get the reaction we got, yeah, it’s slightly puzzling to us.”

Paramount, hear me out: You are a smelly pirate hooker.

Good talk.

*Zip it. The Lonely Island is a trio of pure wit.

No more Lamas

Lorenzo Lamas’ new bride is already wearing the jeggings of the relationship.

The actor is looking for a fresh start by changing his name to her surname.

The 53-year-old reality star just married fifth wife, 24-year-old Shawna Craig (who is younger than two of his six kids).

Future Mr. Craig, spoiler alert: She’s marrying for cash.

Brilliant idea: Legally change all assets to the name Craig. Dolt.

For some info: His eldest son, A.J. (he’s 27 or something. I don’t care.), was allegedly banging Lorenzo’s fourth ex-wife, Shauna Sand, (stepmom, laymen) at age 18.

Hey, new stepmom, time to prime for some son-pumping.

Stripper Channing

Male strippers are like cottage cheese: A curd that endlessly endeavors to channel a gourmet cheese, but sours lumpy and runny.

Flopping in a thong and pole humping apparently floats some boats. (35-year-old virgins and Aurora. Whoops.)

There’s a point.

Channing Tatum, star of — I don’t really care — used to be a male stripper. So Steven Soderbergh is bringing back Tatum’s good ol’ days with a new flick, “Magic Mike,” about a male stripper and his protégé.

Riveting.

“This was a wild and pivotal time in my life and I couldn’t be more thrilled to go down the rabbit hole with Steven,” Tatum said in a statement.

That’s what it says in the men’s room.

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