Charlie Sheen popped a surprise visit to Jimmy Kimmel’s show Monday night, where he French kissed the late-night talk show host.
“My head is still spinning,” Kimmel Tweeted.
Spinning: [spin-ing] verb. A post-traumatic faux euphoria by means of powder inhalation via grazing Sheen’s pores.
What? Precisely.
According to PerezHilton.com, Kimmel cut out Charlie’s last line of the show:
“That whore Sarah Silverman left this at my house,” as he slammed a toothbrush on the desk.
I kinda laughed at that.
Kimmel also Tweeted:
“Legend has it that if Charlie Sheen kisses you at midnight, you turn into a whorewolf.”
Sorry dudes. It would appear that there is now a plethora of furry porn stars.
Brown goes nuts
How sweet.
Chris Brown allegedly destroyed a dressing room after a “Good Morning America” appearance gone awry.
Promoting his new album, F.A.M.E. (Forgiving All My Enemies), host Robin Roberts asked him questions related to his 2009 assault of Rihanna.
Oh, Robin. Sacrilege.
After performing a song, the singer reportedly stormed off stage and threw a chair at his dressing room window, shattering the glass (after angrily — and shirtlessly — confronting a segment producer).
Brown Tweeted:
“I’m so over people bringing this past s**t up!!!”
Tampons in the ladies’ room are one whole quarter, dear.
Lohan arrested
Calm down. Not that one.
Daddy Michael Lohan was cuffed Monday night for three felony counts of domestic violence.
Alas, the classic Lohan move emerged: During booking, he complained of an unrelated medical condition and was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
(Panic attack, jerkoff. Try whiskey.)
Michael was admitted to the Lohan ward and got his Lohan card punched.
Neat. He’s only two punches away from a free colonoscopy. (The special kind: Playboy, rubber gloves, lube. A highlight of the chap’s year.)
The alleged anonymous victim suffered minor injuries. The major one is dating a man who sports mom jeans. (Allegedly. Maybe it was Dina. One can hope.)
Cheney is interesting?
HBO is developing a miniseries about former Vice President Dick Cheney.
Miniseries? I.e. a 20-minute segment of back-to-back-to-back heart attacks?
Oh dear. Inappropriate? Inappropriate.
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