This entry was posted on Jun 25 2011 by Kai Conacher

2012: THE year for fantastic summer movies (and the apocalypse)

Chances are even if you’re living under a rock, in a cave, or anywhere else equally unfriendly (Vancouver?!?!!? ), you still know that Summer 2011 is unusually good season for movies. Between and, and, and…um…brawn…abs…sinew?…OKAY muscle, there’s pretty much a reason to get to the theater every weekend. Sure, it’s 13 bucks. But it’s 13 bucks of movie magic, right? Right?

So, even though I am entirely willing to throw down the ridiculous $13 ticket fee for the chance to see a movie entitled “Trollhunter,” I’m mostly trying to save those nickels and 20 dollar bills for the movie event of [next] year. Because, believe it or not, Summer 2012 is going to be big. We’re talking bigger than Summer 2011, bigger than a rocket-launcher Godzilla, and probably even bigger than a bread box.

Why? Well, for starters, Christopher Nolan and his growling bat buddy are back with. Much to the dismay of everyone, the Joker will not be returning for the final installment in the Nolan series, nor will Johnny Depp be playing opposite Bat-Bale as the Riddler, as Depp reportedly signed a contract last year allowing him only to appear in Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter/Danny Elfman movies. However, expect to get some good action from as he plays the hulking villain Bane.

The inspiration for Jean Paul Gaultier’s Fall 2011 Menswear Collection.

is also reportedly cast as Selina Kyle, Catwoman’s alter ego. According to the Internet, no one’s really sure whether Catwoman will make an appearance, but fingers crossed on that one. I personally can’t wait to see the star of Ella Enchanted, The Princess Diaries, and Havoc decked out in a catsuit. ‘Cause who said crazy cat ladies aren’t bangin’?

Not me.

Also slated for release that summer is the movie adaptation of the Broadway show. Like Mama Mia, Rock of Ages is constructed around a series of popular songs released in the 70s and 80s. Unlike Mama Mia, Rock of Ages is constructed around a series of popular released in the 70s and 80s. JK guys, I love Abba. But Rock of Ages pulls from all sorts of classic rock and roll bands, including Queen, Styx, Bon Jovi, Poison, and [of course] Journey. It’s a loud, rude, and heartwarming coming of age story and features a stellar cast. Expect to see,,,, and everybody’s favorite ever. Also making an appearance is from Malcolm in the Middle! My last pick (although certainly not the last 2012 movie I’m excited about, because, well, Battleship) is Pixar’s. Like their mama corporation Disney, Pixar is trying to get with the times, centering Brave around a female protagonist—Pixar’s first Historically Oppressed Demographic in a Leading Role!

Socially brave, not so much.

Brave follows the story of Merida, a Scottish Princess who disregards her parents by staying out late downing pints at the local tavern, drag [horse]racing, and having gratuitous amounts of unprotected sex. Just kidding! She practices archery. And inadvertently…which I guess still makes her pretty cool in the teenage rebellion department. But Brave looks like a really charming feature, and if it’s anything like the bazillion other amazing Pixar releases, it too will be amazing (and win an Oscar). So, even though the Summer 2012 list goes on and on (The Avengers, Dark Shadows, Prometheus, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, BATTLESHIP, Jack the Giant Killer, The Amazing Spider Man, etc etc), there’s still a few movies left to hold everyone over this season. Check out for some good ol’ genre mash-up fun:

Not a superhero movie.

Or:

Definitely a superhero movie.

Or come to the East Village Theater with me and watch!

…Maybe a movie???

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